3 Simple Ways to Begin Falling in Love With Yourself Again: 1

I recently posted this image on Instagram, opening up about my challenges with learning accept myself after my knee injury. I have struggled with self esteem issues for a large part of my life, smiling on the outside but constantly finding things not to love about myself. The numbers on the scale did not matter, I felt that way at 150 lbs, at 120 lbs, and at 190 lbs. Eventually I had to realize that in order to love myself I needed to reconnect with myself.

Sometimes the hardest thing to do is to love yourself or to recognize something in yourself worth loving. Isn’t that strange? Considering all of the challenges that we go through on a daily basis, the idea that simply being able to love ourselves can be so tough. The impact that the lack of self love can have on so many areas of our lives is so much more than we could probably comprehend.


Lack of self love pushes us to self sabotage in relationships by seeking from others what we should already have within ourselves. It is nobody’s job to make you feel loved…yes, it feels great to know that you have that kind of circle around you, but you should be able to stand strong without it. Spending so much time trying to force others to give us what we lack that we offer very little in return creates unhealthy habits in relationships. I have noticed myself doing this in my marriage often. I don’t know about you but I love to offer value in all areas of my life. But I found it so difficult to be of any value in my marriage because of the self pity that comes from hating myself.


Self sabotage works against our goals and dreams as well. If you do not believe you are worthy or capable of success you won’t be. I love how confident my husband is. C is not cocky, he quickly recognizes that he is the person that he is because of his Faith and the strength that men like his father passed on to him, however he knows what he is capable of when he puts his mind to it and he carries himself as such. I have yet to see him attempt something without being successful and it is because he walks into every challenge with the belief that he is more than capable, and that because he accepts that God has made him the head not the tail.

A lot of his team member lean on him for mentoring because of how he carries himself.

Without faith in ourselves we walk though life like waves. One moment we are up, the next down, because we do not have an understanding of what we are capable of. Starting one thing, giving up and going on to the next. Going to the gym for a week, when the scale does not look like we expect it to, instead of pushing harder we walk away.

That is why we have to get know ourselves, to know what it is that we are truly capable of when we put our minds to it.

Get To Know Yourself

There is nothing better than reconnecting yourself.

I hated being alone! It could be the fact that I was one of 5 kids, and that we spent a lot of time in small living environments, but somewhere along the line I stopped liking my own company. It made sense, why would I like spending time with someone I barely knew, and spent more time criticizing than loving and supporting?


There are so many things that I began to know about myself when I took the time to get to know me. A lot of them allowing me to discover my gifts. Spending time writing again meant reconnecting with this awesome gift that God has given me in my writing.

Here is a simple way to get started:

  • What are your gifts and talents?

You are full of talents and gifts. Find something that you have forgotten that you were great at. I wrote my first collection of short stories in a matter of days in high school and got published right out of high school. My writing allowed me to work for myself pretty early on, but I lost that connection with my gift at some point.

What is something that you were once great at?

That gift or talent that allowed made you feel accomplished and proud of yourself even when you were alone with yourself.

  • What makes you happy?

A simple question that can be so challenging for someone who rarely takes the time to really be happy with themselves. Take this question a step further and find out not just what makes you happy, but what it is about yourself that can make you happy.

  • What can you do for yourself today?

It can be one simple thing. Maybe buying a new perfume, or cooking something that you love. For me, it was going to the gym. It was something I needed to feel healthier, and it started with just a few minutes on the elliptical and today I am so in love with going to the gym and working on myself that I stay in until i burn 500 or more calories. Constantly increasing my goals and spending time with myself.

  • What are the ways that you can help those you love?

Maybe one of your gifts or talents can be useful in this area? One of the best way to learn to love yourself is to find ways to be loving and kind to others.

  • What are the ways that God can use you today?

Having the answer to this question means actually spending time with God. There is nothing like taking a little time alone in prayer and communion with your maker. It allows you to reconnect with yourself and to find his purpose for you.

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By answering these questions, you have already given yourself value by finding out great things about yourself, and spending a little time thinking about what makes you wonderful and useful. Surprised yourself already?

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Djebe Laws33 Comments